Friday, January 5, 2007

"we'll take to the yard like a cockfight, four kicks whose strutting now"

"Yogi Yo" < top Korean word in my books, meaning simply "here"....

At the bar a few weeks back, I was chatting up this Korean girl I've been pining over for a while now, anyway, conversation ends, we go about our business and than I watch as she walks up to me and says "Are you gay?". More irate than called for (considering I liked the girl), I just walked away right pissed. Fast forward, I see her again last weekend, she does an instant replay, hits me up with "are you gay?". i lost it on her this time "what the hell are you talking about, i fuckin like you, i know i'm shy about it, but christ, come on i'm not fuckin gay". without hesitation she retorted "no, i said..are you okay?". exhibit A of how the accent can cause some interference! Anyway, me and 'e young hwa' are now dating and trying to pronounce each others names correctly at the same time.

my buddy tells me he's at this bar (filled predominantly with Koreans) the other week, when suddenly a brawl broke out, immediately the club turns the music off, and attends to it,...and than suddenly (in the middle of this scrap), whoever is in control of the stereo, cranks the volume to max. and blares out the Korean national anthem! this action opens quite a debate...think about it, did they play the country's song believing national pride might actually miraculously bring everything to a halt or were they rather impressing the message "rock and roll korea, keep up the good work, today 'taek won doe' practice is taking an early start".

the Korean police are nicknamed "courtesy cops" for their habit of standing by and watching fights more than going into action. I've been told they will literally never step in, until the combatants have had their fill. In fact, my buddy told me a firsthand account of seeing a rumble where the cops stood watch and even allowed the one dude to pick up some makeshift metal railing nearby which he started swinging at his challenger and eventually hurled in the cops direction, instead of taking it personal, the men in uniform simply shifted around the outside of their car to avoid the subjects of the tussle or maybe it was to get a better view. i just need to get my hands on the satellite feeds the cops are using to take in nhl games, for their shadowing nhl referee tactics.

my first witness to the fisticuffs was on friday night at about 5am, at this growingly seedy club, this way past drunk dude sitting at the bar, suddenly stands up, leans over the bar, grabs a liquor bottle and drills one of the bartenders on the head with it. somehow still standing, the barkeep runs around the bar, throws 'dumbass' to the tiled floor and just starts 'taek won doeing" him in the head. Now, sure to this point this could be mistaken for a regular occurrence in Canada, but than things got unique. When 'Bruce Lee' tired himself out kicking the guy, the bouncer steps in, picks the drunkard up and gently places him back on his stool to continue his drinking endeavours. Its been rumoured to me, that if you've got some won in your pocket here, they won't turn you away...its no longer a rumour to me!

while on the topic of "having money", last night while I was sleeping in my 10 x 10 ft. room, 'Jackie Chan's' brother-in-law walked into my unlocked bachelor apartment and snatched my wallet (and the $200 in it) from the table 4 ft. from my head, brave motherfucker! You know what, when I woke up this morning and discovered this, sure I was pissed that I'd been pinched, but damn, how quickly I settled on the realization that I'm a fortunate kid for not waking up in the middle of this heist, only to have insult added to injury by also being Karate chopped in the face by some Chuck Norris wannabe!

sometimes, who cares to end with a bang, i'll take the whimper.

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