Friday, January 5, 2007

in respects to round 2

this week i learned early signs to determining your childs sexual nature when one boy in my kindergarden class lifted up the shirt of another boy, inspected his stomach, smiled with appreciation and than gleefully embraced him in a "we're more than friends" hug. I know these kids are all too young, but i swear i witnessed one petrified look in the face of the victim...personally i could do nothing but laugh (which is all to sick in itself)..

i need to be fired and for the following reason alone...recently i was bestowed the power of naming a new boy, upon a Korean colleague suggesting the name "Tom", i was outraged and protested? "no, we've already got enough Tom's, how about 'Redneck'". The following is no lie... no sooner had I said it and laughed the teacher was writing 'R-E-D-N-E-C-K' on the front of the kids workbook. I dare you, try it out sometime, seriously look at a stranger and say "hey redneck, could you read number 4 please"...and try to keep it in, i couldn't. Before you quickly press 'reply' on this email to lecture me on the ethics of taking advantage of my position, hear me out...this kid had it coming. 7 years old or walk into my class wearing a Canadian tuxedo (jeans, above and below the belt), with the jean pants ending at the shins and the jean jacket being a vest,...the
words "my parents respect me" no longer apply. I promise you one thing, thats one student whose name I won't forget.

in a drunken stupor on a long walk home from the bar have you ever thought of hilariously simple names that bars similar to the one you exited should adopt...koreans have. Here are the names of a few of the places I have encountered "Cool Bar", "U2", "Velvet Underground", "Club Vinyl", "J-Rock" (for trailor park boy fans),"Watermelon Sugar", "Hitler Bar" (fear rattles me from having entered this one as of yet).
interesting...police here drive around with their lights already flashing (this is normal not pulling anyone over driving), it leaves me curiously wondering how the hell you know that the cop wants you to pull over (can't be the sound of a siren because there's so much fuckin honking going on, you wouldn't be able to make it out...speaking of which, they have amazing vision here in being able to honk a warning a km in advance).

whatever, i fully embrace this culture, we just need some music.

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